baby ahmad's first trip to the mall (to get wan's birthday present)

today, baby ahmad decided all of us should take him out to the shopping mall (well, guess who's the one who wanted to go)...so we decided to go to midvalley for window shopping (ehem!)...well, in a nicer word, to get a birthday present for wan...

so, we went there with wan and makngah and looking around for comfy shoes and trendy handbag for wan...baby ahmad snugged comfortably in mama's wrap while mama and papa were busy entertaining kakak and abang...

our family outing today

as usual, kakak and abang got some toys and books for themselves while mama bought some socks for baby ahmad...

papa and abang wore the same shirts from australia

we had our lunch at Plan B...while kakak and abang had their delicious spaghetti carbonara, baby ahmad had his creamy, nutritious mama's milk with a tinge of taste of everything that mama ate...after lunch, we went to the bookstore as mama wanted to get some books on DS, unfortunately none could be found...so, we went home after that...

the food that made baby ahmad drooled

overall, baby ahmad enjoyed himself being carried snuggly in mama's wrap and he behaved very well throughout the trip...mama nursed him at the restaurant for a few times and he was contented after that and asked for more milk when we were going home while in the car...perhaps we can go out again soon...

baby iyad attended a forum (at 1 month old)

baby iyad is 1 month old today...our little angel had a rather academic way to celebrate his 1 month birthday when mama brought him to the Malaysian Breastfeeding Charter Forum at Eastin Hotel today...and i guess, he's the youngest participant of the day...yeay!

we went there with wan as papa brought abang imtiaz to the playgroup with kakak jihan along ...so, i drove us there as wan didn't know the way there...while i was driving, baby iyad started to make some smacking noise and started nuzzling and searching for breast...it was his feeding time and seemed that he couldn't wait any longer..we were on the PLUS highway, there were so many cars on the road and the nearest R&R is few kilometres away...so, i sped off (hopefully we were  not caught on the traffic camera) to the R&R so that we can switch driver...alhamdulillah, we managed to make a pit stop and switched driver and baby iyad got his lunch...and he slept peacefully soon after...

we arrived at the hotel, and i carried baby iyad in the wrap (i'm pretty good at handling the wrap now) and baby iyad behaved perfectly well throughout the forum...he slept comfortably in the wrap and only woke up towards the end of the forum as he was hungry and thirsty...

baby iyad was sleeping peacefully at the forum

it was an interesting forum and the speakers were marvelous.. they talked about the barriers and solutions to protect, promote and support breastfeeding in malaysia..in the end, we, the breastfeeding mothers, advocates, families, NGO, healthcare providers and those who support breastfeeding wanted the Malaysian Government to adapt the Milk Code as a law in order to protect breastfeeding, in a way to ensure our babies only get the very best of mothers' milk and to prevent the manipulative  and misleading advertisements from the milk industries that can lead to confusions among consumers...

baby iyad with auntie ning

something to ponder upon, said by Professor Dato Dr Anwar Fazal at the forum;

Breastfeeding is medicine

Breastfeeding is nutrition

Breastfeeding is economical

Breastfeeding is environmental friendly

Breastfeeding is LOVE

and baby iyad and his kakak jihan and abang imtiaz are proud to be breastfed by mama...

breastfeeding blissfully at the forum

baby ahmad's cardiology appointment

this morning, baby ahmad had an appointment with the pediatric cardiologist at the hospital...no, baby ahmad has no heart problem (so far), but having down syndrome (DS), he is at higher risk of having a congenital heart disease compared to normal babies...so today's visit is to do an echocardiogram to screen if he has any of the problems..

so, baby ahmad behaved very well...i put him in the woven wrap in the front cross carry (FCC) way and he was very contented and comfortable in it...when we reached the clinic, we measured his weight and length, he's already 3.4kg (even though it's not much increment from his birth weight) and 50cm in length...his anthropometric measurement was charted on a special growth chart for DS children and it showed that he is growing very well...

baby ahmad is sleeping comfortably in the wrap

then, Prof B did an ECHO on baby ahmad...all went smoothly and baby ahmad gave his best cooperation to Prof B...alhamdulillah, the ECHO was normal and no further follow up needed for baby ahmad for his heart...Prof B also gave a Hepatitis B shot to baby ahmad which made him screamed very loudly for a while and settled after i put him back in the wrap...

we spent the whole afternoon in mama's postgraduate room at the hospital and baby ahmad was not at all disturbed by the conversations made by the noisy aunts in the room (*wink)...i had fun meeting my dear friends (who are mostly breastfeeding mums too) after not meeting them for the past month...

with lovely auntie aneesa

next week will be another few more appointments for baby ahmad..so we will be going fro and back to hospital quite frequent for the next few weeks...this weekend is full with exciting activities for us and hopefully baby ahmad will enjoy it too...

faces of baby ahmad today

a visit to Kiwanis

alhamdulillah, baby iyad is already 4 week old today...he is already gaining a few hundreds gram from his birth weight and that is such a good achievement of both of us as we work very hard together to give our breastfeeding journey a great start..it's still a long way to go, we pray that baby iyad will continue getting the very best from mama's milk, insya allah...

4 week old today

when i first wrote about baby iyad's condition and posted it on this blog, i didn't expect to get such an overwhelming support and encouragement...we were really touched with all of these which keep us strong and positive...a dear friend of mine, S who is my schoolmate back in mrsmpc wrote to me on  kiwanis down syndrome foundation malaysia...and i'm very glad to know that she works there and she was very kind to offer us all the information regarding the early intervention program (EIP) that is available in the centre...i did some search on EIP in malaysia before we knew about baby iyad's confirmed diagnosis but i wasn't really sure what to look for...and when S contacted me, alhamdulillah she has brought light to brighten our way...once baby iyad's diagnosis was confirmed, i contacted S again to arrange a visit to kiwanis kuala lumpur to see how the program is conducted...

my ever bubbly, friendly, pretty friend, S

so today, we brought baby iyad to visit his school...insya allah, baby iyad is going to start his class in january...and that makes baby iyad the earliest to go to school among his other siblings...wow, way to go baby iyad! we got to tour the whole place (thanks to S) and met some children with DS having their lessons with the therapist and teachers...we were also greeted by friendly parents who were waiting for their children attending classes there and they gave us soothing, comfort words and encouragement to boost our confidence and to keep up our positive spirits...masya allah, this is such a beautiful place with friendly people...we can already feel the warmth of love showered by our new friends even though it was our first time here...

S gave us great details on the classes here...baby iyad will be going for the infant stimulation program which will start in january..meanwhile, we hope to join the school holiday program in november to give a kick start to the whole thing...insya allah, it's going to be an exciting journey for baby iyad and all of us...

the center is such a fully equipped place...it has a small swimming pool for the children to do their water therapy and play..the resource centre has books that the children and even parents can borrow and toys that we can borrow too..isn't that exciting!

we are looking forward to start off this journey, aren't we baby iyad..? he was soundly asleep in the hop tye while we were touring the place and only woke up for his dose of superfood (mama's breast milk) in the admin office (and poo-ed soon after that)...

baby iyad sleeping soundly and comfortably in his hop tye

insya allah i will surely update on baby iyad's progress when he starts his class and put up a lots of photos of him in action and probably videos too...

i have more chromosomes than you

our little angel

the moment of truth...the day that i wished would never come because i'm not ready for it...while we thought the result won't be ready in a month or so, it reached us unexpectedly on friday evening, because dear hubby checked it on the online medical system (OMS) and found it was ready to be retrieved...that's the drawback when you work in the hospital where you are accessible to all the data and results...anyhow, the result read as "findings are consistent with mosaic trisomy 21"...meaning that baby ahmad is confirmed to have down syndrome of mosaic inheritance...

at that moment, my heart shattered, i was hoping and praying for a normal result because for the past 3 weeks what i saw in front of me and what i've been caring for is a normal baby, who is of no difference from my other 2 children when they were babies...i was in denial for a while and i cried..at that time i was nursing baby ahmad and more tears dropped down my cheeks when i looked at his serene face...

my mind was racing through the things that we have to go through after this...the infant stimulation program (my baby has to go to school as early as 2 month old), the follow ups with the pediatrician, the application of special privilege card from the social welfare department and what else...i was very frustrated (and sad) that we have to go through all these things and more to come... i guess that was the right emotion to display...it's not going to be easy journey (i haven't completed my masters and will be sitting for my final exam in may new year and there will be a whole list of plans for baby ahmad) and i wasn't sure how to go through it when the time comes...

it took quite a while to calm my emotion that evening...i repeatedly read through the result trying to understand the whole report (a lengthy ones with foreign terms that i couldn't understand)...i grabbed my iPad and searched for informations on mosaic down syndrome and read through it...after a while, i began to accept the fact that my dear baby ahmad has more chromosomes than any of us...and that little extra makes him an extraordinary special, that always have a special place in our hearts....he was the one i carried inside me for the past 38 weeks and 4 days...he was the one who scratched my womb with his long fingernails (just kidding) and kicking and summersaulting up and down in the tiny space...he was the one who made us worried sick during the labor when his heart beats suddenly became slower and unexpectedly made his way out fast and quick soon after...he is baby ahmad, our baby, our child, who was born out of our pure, extraordinary love...

sometimes i wonder, do i wish we would have known about baby ahmad's condition earlier? i don't know...i never thought of going through the triple tests to detect down syndrome in utero...after all the nuchal translucency on ultrasound was normal and both hubby and i are still young and there are no other risk factors involved to indicate the triple tests needed be done...

if we would have known, i would have worry too much and would be thinking of the worst case scenario...instead, i enjoyed a relatively healthy, happy pregnancy which was not much difference from my previous ones...although i prayed for a healthy, perfect baby to be born, alhamdulillah i am grateful that Allah had chosen me as baby ahmad's mama...He, the Almighty knows what is best for baby ahmad and for us...baby ahmad is indeed a healthy and perfect baby to me and we will ensure that he gets the best of everything from us, as jihan and imtiaz...

i'm not going to think what will happen tomorrow, the day after tomorrow or next year but to cherish the moment now and enjoying the journey that we'll go through today...we may need to learn some unique features that baby ahmad might exhibit, that can be different  from normal babies and we'll try our best to help him reach his maximum potential to the fullest so that he will be able to attain as normal development as possible...baby ahmad, having you in our life is a miracle and our love for you is endless...

thank you Allah for this special gift...thank you Allah for making us a prefect match...we pray that He will make the journey in nurturing baby Ahmad an easy one, and bless him with a good health and iman...we also pray that He will make us the best parents for our children and give us the strength in bringing our family together towards His righteous path no matter what...Ameen...

baby ahmad with his brother who loves him so much 

3 week old- chubby baby iyad

iyad is 3 week old today

alhamdulillah, it has been 3 weeks since baby iyad was born...today he is already 3 weeks old...so how is he doing..? he is doing perfectly well...he is getting better at latching at the initiation of his feeding and drinks a tremendous amount of breast milk...all of us think that he is getting chubbier (and heavier too)...we have started using cloth diaper on baby iyad he was super duper cute cladded in colorful, big bummies cloth diapers...

we decided to publish baby iyad's birth story and his condition on this blog last week and we were very touched with the du'a and support we got from our family and friends and also our blog readers...we can never thank you so much and nothing can ever repay your kindness, we pray that Allah will reward each and everyone of you with his blessings, insya Allah.. baby iyad is very grateful to be born in a circle of big family and friends who continue giving us love, hope and support to stay strong in continuing this journey of life...

baby iyad has quite a regular sleeping schedule nowadays...even though he sleeps most of the time, he has his awake moment longer now and likes to be held and cuddled and loves it when people talk to him...when no one picks him up or talk to him, he will start flinging his arms, hands and feet and show his sweetest face, wanting our attention and pleading us to entertain him...

wanting our attentions 

he is getting stronger each day...he can turn his body sideways (not to total prone position) and lift up his head when i put him on my chest in prone position...he felt so comfortable and calm when held that way...i started baby wearing baby iyad in a wrap too and he loves being in it and immediately settled and sleep in it after a while...i bought a cheap cotton, spandex wrap from the portable baby when they offered the wrap at USD25 not long ago...a nice wrap to start with, easy to maneuver , and next i'm trying out the woven wrap (already ordered) and hope to get it soon...

turn to side on his own

baby iyad also had lots of photography session done by his amateur papa, yet to be published...he is such a photogenic baby....we had some friends visiting us and baby iyad and brought lovely presents for him..thank you aunties and uncles..

photography session by papa

jihan and imtiaz had a few hours fun at alamanda with their papa while both of us stayed at home relaxing and bonding together...the kids love to stay home with baby iyad but we thought they needed a break, hence a short groceries shopping experience at alamanda was made...

i'm posting an exclusive video of baby iyad in the NICU captured with my old iPhone, sorry no sound though due to the faulty microphone...

2 week old - lovable baby iyad

my little miracle is already 2 week old...how time flies...he still love to sleep a lot, but when he is awake he likes to look around at colorful objects and moves his hands and legs actively...he drinks mama's milk quite a lot nowadays and his poo has already turned to mustard yellow, alhamdulillah..his jaundice was still there but from our observation it's not worsening...all my 3 children had mild jaundice during their 1st 2 weeks of life and we monitored ourselves...we didn't bring them for blood taking because we were confident that they were only mild physiological jaundice that would resolve by 2 weeks...but for parents out there, if you are not medically trained, and your baby is jaundice, i advise you to bring your baby to the nearest health clinic to check the bilirubin level...apart from the yellowish discoloration of the skin, sclera and mucous membrane, there are few other things that the doctor will check to determine that the jaundice is not serious and the bilirubin level need to be monitored...

sleeping peacefully, still a bit jaundice

loves colors

i finally got my proper postnatal massage by my tukang urut cik ton after 9 days post partum...i had 3 days massage and tungku with her and she also massaged my breasts to ensure smooth milk flow...the engorgement subsided and the milk production and flow was a lot better and now baby iyad managed to breastfeed efficiently...alhamdulilah, i was thankful that after 3 children, baby iyad is the expert of breastfeeding of the 3...his sucking is amazingly perfect, he latches on correctly from the 1st time i breastfed him and i did not have any nipple pain or cracked nipple like i had in the previous 2 babies...i still express my milk in between feeding to relieve the breast engorgement and had a few stocks of fresh expressed breast milk in the fridge..

baby iyad loves to be bathe..he does not cry but occasionally scream when the cold water flows onto him...so we must make sure that the bath water is warm enough and he simply loves it...

he loves to sleep in his rocker..he will sleep there for hours even when imtiaz was singing out loud maher zain's song...he had a few episodes of reflux after breastfeeding and it was better when we put him on the rocker for a few minutes before putting him lying flat on the bed...he also likes to be nursed on our favorite, comfortable nurturing chair (which i usually ended up dozing off while breastfeeding him)...

alhamdulillah, taking care of little baby iyad is such a breeze...he loves being surrounded by his noisy elder brother and sister and his masterchef aunt, ezani who loves to wake him up when he sleeps...he is such a lovable baby and all of us love him so much...we are truly blessed with his presence in our life...he is indeed our miracle of life...

in his favorite rocker

1 week old - it's Ahmad Iyad Ghazi

yesterday, dear hubby went to hospital to get all baby ahmad's appointment dates with the pediatrician, paeds cardiologist, ophthalmologist and audiologist and we have a list of important dates to be marked in our calendars in the next 2-3 months...

today, hubby went to his office to extend his leave until this weekend..then, he went to register baby ahmad's name at the national registration department in hentian kajang...we made our research the night before on the names that we thought to be suitable for baby ahmad..finally, we decided to name baby ahmad - ahmad iyad ghazi..

already registered

ahmad means highly praised and also the name of the prophet s.a.w, 

iyad means strength, might and support, and 

ghazi means warrior or fighter..

baby ahmad is a real fighter and we hope that he will continue to gain the strength and support to venture his journey of life with our endless love towards him ..from now on, i will write his name in this blog as baby ahmad or baby iyad interchangeably..

and his his umbilical cord stump fell off today, yeay! alhamdulillah...

our little caliph

baby ahmad's jaundice was still there but it didn't worsen..his stool was yellowish green still however he started to nurse frequently in longer duration each time...so he would have gotten lots of my breast milk and i hope that the stool will turn mustard yellow soon...i managed to express about 3-5 bottles of breast milk per day, each about 4-5oz, and still able to breastfeed baby ahmad on demand, alhamdulillah...at times, i expressed my milk for about 1-2 oz before breastfeeding baby ahmad directly as i wanted him to get more of the hindmilk, which is creamier with high calorie content...

imtiaz loves playing with his baby brother...he frequently asked me if he can take care of baby ahmad...how does he take care of baby ahmad? by stroking baby ahmad's head, that's imtiaz version of taking care of his little brother...and he also loves playing with and nuzzle on baby ahmad's tiny ears resulting in baby ahmad licking imtiaz's nose or cheek...

we are brothers

giving his handsome pose

Day 6 of life- a terrifying blood taking experience

we got up early, got ready and off we went to the hospital for baby ahmad's blood taking for the karyotyping blood test and thyroid function test...we arrived at around 8.40am, went up to the clinic at 7th floor...we waited for a while, and i tried to wake baby ahmad up for breastfeeding and he only took a little bit...

the medical officer, DR R came at around 9.30am and looked for baby ahmad's vein..as expected and i wrote in the previous entry, there was no visible and easily accessible vein seen on baby ahmad's tiny hands or even feet.. he had a branula inserted on his right hand when he was in NICU, but we were not sure that was successfully inserted after how many attempts, as he had some bruising marks on both hands, probably due to multiple attempts of blood taking and branula insertion...she attempted a few times to draw the blood, and as an expected reflex from baby ahmad, he screamed and cried due to the  pain and discomfort..i couldn't bear seeing him crying but i needed to be by his side, stroking his head, his cheeks and holding his hands (whatever that can comfort him) and tried to breastfeed him in between the episodes...

Dr R called her another colleague to help us get about 7ml of blood from baby ahmad...so Dr N came and attempted a few times and he finally got it after several attempts...but that could only fill 1 tube...he poked baby ahmad's vein for another few times to get a few more ml of blood for another tube...finally, the terrifying scream of my little boy ended at around 12, that was about after 2 and 1/2 hour of torture and abuse...i'm sorry baby ahmad, but we really need to do this and i'm sure you know that too..

immediately after the procedure, baby ahmad was very exhausted and he slept right away...i tried to wake him up to breastfeed him and he was just not interested..we arrived home, took a quick lunch and tried to wake baby ahmad for his milk...he just couldn't open his eyes and was not that responsive to our touch and stimulation...the panic button was on as we were afraid he was in hypoglycemic state as his proper breastfeeding session was at around 7 am this morning and he only took some amount of breast milk in between...

i took off his clothing, wet a towel and tried to make him feel cold so that he would respond to the environment...we warmed the expressed breast milk and tried syringing it in into his mouth...he swallowed some of it and we continued syringing in about 30 ml of milk before he finally opened his eyes and became more active, alhamdulillah...that was the longest 40 minutes i ever went through...we decided to do this as we didn't want baby ahmad to go through the torture that he had earlier this morning, knowing that his blood taking or branula insertion was not easy to do...

later in the evening, baby ahmad was able to breastfeed directly and was active as usual...i don't think we can go through the blood taking procedure again in the near future until we can be sure of the correct position of the vein that is easiest for his blood to be drawn...

look at this angelic face after he was fed with 30 ml of expressed breast milk

more active in the evening and papa captured him on his nikon

Day 5 of life - baby ahmad goes raya visit

despite my breast engorgement, i tried to breastfeed baby ahmad frequently on demand...but he was sleeping most of the time and we had trouble to wake him up...i decided to call another tukang urut to help me relieve this engorgement...i was lucky to get one from kota warisan and she was willing to come to my house... this time, the engorgement improved a lot and i was able to express more milk from the affected side and breastfeed baby ahmad better as he got to latch properly...

his stool was still greenish and his jaundice was a bit more today but only confined to the face and upper chest...baby ahmad is going to do his blood test tomorrow and hopefully it's easy for them to draw the blood...but i can't see any good visible veins on his tiny hands...we'll see how it goes tomorrow..

in the evening, we decided to bring baby ahmad for raya visit at wan tam and aki's house...we had soto and all the kuih raya and baby ahmad slept throughout the visit...baby ahmad got duit raya and a pair of clothing from aki and wan tam...

we tried to make jihan understand about baby ahmad's condition and showed her some videos on Down Syndrome children...she said those children are cute and they are not different from normal children...we told her that we might need to spend more time with baby ahmad for his health check up and his early intervention program, his development might be slower than other babies and his intelligence might not be the same as hers or imtiaz...so, all of us must be patience to take care of him and love him unconditionally no matter what the outcome is...well, i was teary when i said this to her, hoping that she understands and try her best to help us go through this difficult situation...

our children are the greatest gift Allah had ever give...insya allah, no matter what happens, we will try our best to fulfill their needs with lots of love...for a start, i'm grateful that i'm blessed with lots of breast milk for baby ahmad...that will ensure he gets the warmth of my love, all the goodness and the nutrition that will protect him throughout the years...

our precious

Day 4 of life - breastfeeding challenges

my milk started coming in and the engorgement was really painful..i tried to express with a manual breast pump but it was painful and only some amount came out..so i resorted to hand expression...i needed a relieving massage by my tukang urut but she was away until tuesday...

i put the warm pack and cold pack interchangeably to relieve the painful engorgement..i even asked for help from KK, my breastfeeding sifu and she was very kind to give me the epsom salt to relieve the engorgement...it relieved a bit but didn't help much... i needed to find other tukang urut to help me solved the problem...the left breast was quite manageable but the right one was severely engorged and edematous...i tried to find the tukang urut online and found one at section 3 bukit mahkota...baby ahmad was unable to latch on properly and suck well and we were afraid he would go into hypoglycemia again..

since everybody else was not at home, it was just me, dear hubby and the kids, i drove myself to the tukang urut's house...she massaged the engorged breast and it helped to relieve the engorgement...at home, baby ahmad was not passing motion that much, his stool was greenish indicating that he was getting more of the foremilk  than the hindmilk...his urine was not that much too and he started to have tinge of jaundice...i really hope that this breastfeeding issues will settle fast and baby ahmad will get the correct proportion of breast milk and is able to breastfeeding well...

besides that, i realized that baby ahmad has difficulty to get his first latch on the breast at every feeding time...sometimes he pushed me hard with his hand and extended his neck as if he refused to latch...but once he got it right, he will start sucking and swallowing the milk in a perfect rhythm... he is probably still learning to breastfeed efficiently...probably i should give him more time...

did i tell you that baby ahmad was born with long fingernails on both hands..? probably that what caused the sharp pain i experienced during pregnancy, he was scratching my uterus...just kidding..i cut his fingernails today so that it won't hurt him and anybody else..

look at those nails...

already cut..